about transitions
This fall, I began hosting a Monday morning "get going" meeting for people who are part of TransitionWorks (www.transitionworks.org) here in Maplewood, NJ.
TransitionWorks is a workshop/dialogue/community for and of people who are making a work-related transition. Many of us have been laid off or let go or downsized or "early retired" at least once. Most of us are unwilling or unable (is there a difference really?) to take just another job. We feel something is missing - we're tired of doing what we're supposed to do and want to do something more fulfilling, or we're sick of the rat race and commuting and want to spend more time with family and friends, or we just don't like doing the same thing we've done for 20 to 30 years. It's time for a change.
Actually, many of us have tried change and that hasn't worked. We move to a different job, but it feels the same. What we need is .... TRANSITION!
John Harvey (founder of TransitionWorks) and Alfred Milanese (co-director) base the workshop on William Bridges' book Transitions. The book focuses on how transition is different from change in its depth and range. Change is something that happens to us or that we make relatively quickly. Transition is more of a process. Bridges talks about transition being made up of endings, the neutral zone, and beginnings. One has to end something in order to begin something new. And after ending something, there is a space before beginning anew - he calls it the neutral zone. I call it "the dark hallway between the door God just closed and the one he'd better open soon." It's the pitchblack hallway where I cannot see clearly ahead of me. I can only feel my way along, moving slowly and exploring the interior landscape - oh, this is a wall, or this is a door but it's locked, and here's a window sill - I feel it but it's still now quite right, not quite the right door. I'll know it when I get there! And the door will open when it's the right fit.
The TransitionWorks workshop is fantastic - it helped me end my past life and oriented me to being in the neutral zone. And slowly, I'm beginning a new phase.
Part of my new phase is hosting these Monday meetings as an adjunct to the TransitionWorks workshops. After hearing a number of people talk about being stuck, John urged us to meet during the day to give each other encouragement and support to continue moving toward our ultimate objective. The Monday meeting was intended to be a short one, just to help us focus on what we did the past week and what we intend to do in the coming week. But it has evolved into something different.
The meetings have evolved into two and 1/2 to three hour long sessions. This ensures that everyone has a chance to talk through their current status and get feedback from the group. Group members ask questions, challenge each other, make observations, and gently push each other toward more focused intention, more embracing of our own strengths and abilities, and more confidence in our capacity to find the right fit. Every experience is used as a chance to learn, and we help each other transform deep disappointment into another step toward realizing our dreams.
“Didn’t get that job? Fabulous! You’re one step closer to the right one!”
“Hated the people at the interview? Great, because now you have more information about who you DON’T want to work with.”
It’s a great follow-up to the TransitionWorks workshop - a chance to refine our objective and intention, see how it plays out in real life, and then talk about it with a group of supportive people in the same boat. All of us are getting permission to follow our instincts, to quiet the desperation that may force us to take just any job, and to feel confident that we WILL find the right fit.
We remind each other of what Alfred and John have told all of us - that we can pursue a dual path - take a job for money while keeping the dream alive and taking steps toward it. One refinement of that statement is that we don’t have to take just ANY job to make money - it too can be a “right fit” even if it’s not the perfect fit. Yesterday, someone said if we like 80% of a job, we’re doing fantastically. Likewise, if we like 60-70% of a job, it’s worth taking while we continue to work toward getting the one that’s 80%+.
Yesterday morning, five of us met. One prior attendee couldn’t make it because he’s finishing up a consulting gig before starting his new full-time job! It was awesome watching him transform in six or seven weeks from unfocused to extremely focused and successful in finding the “right fit.”
The key for him was zeroing in on HIMSELF - what he wanted from a job and what he had to offer. Monday mornings helped him get that focus, gave him permission to pay attention to and explore his feelings and instincts, and validated his pursuit of work that would fulfill him.
Another member is getting a job offer this week, for a job that she basically created out of her clear intention and networking. I'm much clearer about what I want to do, within my physical limits. And I'm meeting fascinating people who have amazing skills and are willing and able to help each other.
It's like watching a 12 step program come to life but without a substance or disease as its focus. We are focused on helping each other find the "right fit" - an occupation where I can use my abilities in service of my passion, and continue to learn and grow.
TransitionWorks is a workshop/dialogue/community for and of people who are making a work-related transition. Many of us have been laid off or let go or downsized or "early retired" at least once. Most of us are unwilling or unable (is there a difference really?) to take just another job. We feel something is missing - we're tired of doing what we're supposed to do and want to do something more fulfilling, or we're sick of the rat race and commuting and want to spend more time with family and friends, or we just don't like doing the same thing we've done for 20 to 30 years. It's time for a change.
Actually, many of us have tried change and that hasn't worked. We move to a different job, but it feels the same. What we need is .... TRANSITION!
John Harvey (founder of TransitionWorks) and Alfred Milanese (co-director) base the workshop on William Bridges' book Transitions. The book focuses on how transition is different from change in its depth and range. Change is something that happens to us or that we make relatively quickly. Transition is more of a process. Bridges talks about transition being made up of endings, the neutral zone, and beginnings. One has to end something in order to begin something new. And after ending something, there is a space before beginning anew - he calls it the neutral zone. I call it "the dark hallway between the door God just closed and the one he'd better open soon." It's the pitchblack hallway where I cannot see clearly ahead of me. I can only feel my way along, moving slowly and exploring the interior landscape - oh, this is a wall, or this is a door but it's locked, and here's a window sill - I feel it but it's still now quite right, not quite the right door. I'll know it when I get there! And the door will open when it's the right fit.
The TransitionWorks workshop is fantastic - it helped me end my past life and oriented me to being in the neutral zone. And slowly, I'm beginning a new phase.
Part of my new phase is hosting these Monday meetings as an adjunct to the TransitionWorks workshops. After hearing a number of people talk about being stuck, John urged us to meet during the day to give each other encouragement and support to continue moving toward our ultimate objective. The Monday meeting was intended to be a short one, just to help us focus on what we did the past week and what we intend to do in the coming week. But it has evolved into something different.
The meetings have evolved into two and 1/2 to three hour long sessions. This ensures that everyone has a chance to talk through their current status and get feedback from the group. Group members ask questions, challenge each other, make observations, and gently push each other toward more focused intention, more embracing of our own strengths and abilities, and more confidence in our capacity to find the right fit. Every experience is used as a chance to learn, and we help each other transform deep disappointment into another step toward realizing our dreams.
“Didn’t get that job? Fabulous! You’re one step closer to the right one!”
“Hated the people at the interview? Great, because now you have more information about who you DON’T want to work with.”
It’s a great follow-up to the TransitionWorks workshop - a chance to refine our objective and intention, see how it plays out in real life, and then talk about it with a group of supportive people in the same boat. All of us are getting permission to follow our instincts, to quiet the desperation that may force us to take just any job, and to feel confident that we WILL find the right fit.
We remind each other of what Alfred and John have told all of us - that we can pursue a dual path - take a job for money while keeping the dream alive and taking steps toward it. One refinement of that statement is that we don’t have to take just ANY job to make money - it too can be a “right fit” even if it’s not the perfect fit. Yesterday, someone said if we like 80% of a job, we’re doing fantastically. Likewise, if we like 60-70% of a job, it’s worth taking while we continue to work toward getting the one that’s 80%+.
Yesterday morning, five of us met. One prior attendee couldn’t make it because he’s finishing up a consulting gig before starting his new full-time job! It was awesome watching him transform in six or seven weeks from unfocused to extremely focused and successful in finding the “right fit.”
The key for him was zeroing in on HIMSELF - what he wanted from a job and what he had to offer. Monday mornings helped him get that focus, gave him permission to pay attention to and explore his feelings and instincts, and validated his pursuit of work that would fulfill him.
Another member is getting a job offer this week, for a job that she basically created out of her clear intention and networking. I'm much clearer about what I want to do, within my physical limits. And I'm meeting fascinating people who have amazing skills and are willing and able to help each other.
It's like watching a 12 step program come to life but without a substance or disease as its focus. We are focused on helping each other find the "right fit" - an occupation where I can use my abilities in service of my passion, and continue to learn and grow.
posted by julieannerickson at 11:28 AM
1 Comments:
You're saying you "getting clearer" on what it is you want to do. Don't leave us in the dark! What's in your scope?
You probably have gotten my latest email about the "transition" I will have in place by December 2007; probably sooner.
I am moving from a full-time private practice into teaching. I have been dedicated to my work with the elderly, and see how valuable it is for them. Along with my own aging process, I have come to realize that my body just will not be able to handle 15-20 clients a week until I retire. So, since I value my work so much, I'm looking forward to training others in my profession to reach more clients than I could alone.
My overall goal is to have bodywork therapy become as much a part of the daily routine for those living in nursing homes as is nursing or physical therapy. It's a tall order, but I'm willing to do my part.
I have an interview on Monday in San Francisco with the director of the school where I earned my certification in 1998. I may have to start as a substitute teacher, but my ultimate goal is to develop a premiere training program in geriatric massage in the San Francisco Bay Area. I'm also in contact with a school in Sebastopol, 20 minutes from where I live, and about 50 miles north of San Francisco.
I will probably earn somewhat less money teaching than I would with private cllients only, but I will be healthier, happier, and my work more rewarding.
You're onto something, my friend. Keep at it!
Love,
Cyn
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