about living in the now, just for today
I love this slogan and way of life. I needed help and permission to focus on the here and now instead of obsessing about the past and fearing the future.
Permission first - it seemed like such a luxury to be in the now. But what about all those things I did that I thought I needed to replay over and over in my mind to find yet one more thing or word I did wrong? How could I let that go? What a burden that is, to lug around self-recrimination and second-guessing.
And how could I stop projecting into the future? I wouldn't be prepared! And even more disasters could happen than I even dreamed of! I kept trying to think about all the possible consequences to some event or behavior (especially of other people...). If I could only envision the future, then I could protect against it. I could be safe. To unload that fear seemed the height of irresponsibility. I didn't even know how heavily fear weighed on me until I shucked it off to stay in the present.
I got permission from wise people to lay down the burdens of the past and future. All of a sudden I could stand up straight, look around me, and see as if for the first time the wonderful people, places and things in my life today.
I did and do need help to stay in today. My default behavior when I'm stressed still is to pick up the past or the future. And I get even more stressed. So it's great to have people in my life who remind me to be here now and live in today.
Last week, I experienced the consequences of not being fully present when I fell off a retaining wall in my back yard. I was looking at some plants, thinking about something or other, stepped back - and boom! I wasn't seriously injured, just enough to cause some huge bruises and pain. And it brought home to me how important it is to notice where my feet are, to be in the now.
Permission first - it seemed like such a luxury to be in the now. But what about all those things I did that I thought I needed to replay over and over in my mind to find yet one more thing or word I did wrong? How could I let that go? What a burden that is, to lug around self-recrimination and second-guessing.
And how could I stop projecting into the future? I wouldn't be prepared! And even more disasters could happen than I even dreamed of! I kept trying to think about all the possible consequences to some event or behavior (especially of other people...). If I could only envision the future, then I could protect against it. I could be safe. To unload that fear seemed the height of irresponsibility. I didn't even know how heavily fear weighed on me until I shucked it off to stay in the present.
I got permission from wise people to lay down the burdens of the past and future. All of a sudden I could stand up straight, look around me, and see as if for the first time the wonderful people, places and things in my life today.
I did and do need help to stay in today. My default behavior when I'm stressed still is to pick up the past or the future. And I get even more stressed. So it's great to have people in my life who remind me to be here now and live in today.
Last week, I experienced the consequences of not being fully present when I fell off a retaining wall in my back yard. I was looking at some plants, thinking about something or other, stepped back - and boom! I wasn't seriously injured, just enough to cause some huge bruises and pain. And it brought home to me how important it is to notice where my feet are, to be in the now.
posted by julieannerickson at 12:49 PM
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