about being on the right path
I just read a post from Lou Tice at the Pacific Institute about "Great Ideas - Your Choice." He lists seven ideas:
First, becoming your best self is a choice you make - every day.
Second, change happens through action and the understanding that we create our future.
Third, recognize and dwell on your strengths, use them constantly, and watch them grow.
Fourth, facing your fears is not a one-time event, but it gets easier the more you do it.
Fifth, procrastination does not exist. What exists is a passive choice to do nothing.
Sixth, believe in the importance of your ideas, and your ability to bring them into reality.
And, seventh, refuse to give up. Persist in the face of all opposition, every setback, and be totally, 100% committed to bringing about the end-result you desire.
It's similar to what we were saying yesterday at TransitionWorks Monday "Get Going Meeting" about forming our intention, summoning up the motivation to take action, and trusting our instincts. I particularly agree with the third, fourth, fifth and sixth ideas, with one caveat on the fifth. I do believe that there is no such thing as procrastination, and I suppose it is a passive choice to do nothing. What I also think, however, is that it's worth examining the procrastination to discover that I've chosen to do nothing.
It's worth understanding that procrastination may be a sign that I'm not supposed to do the thing I'm not doing. There is always some reason for not doing something and I can discover it if I explore a little, and if I let a little time go by. I've found that there are times when the seeming procrastination was in fact appropriate because I didn't have enough information to take the right action.
For example, I was supposed to call a funding source to inquire about applying for another grant. I kept putting off the call, to the dismay and increasing disgust of my fundraising staff. I could just hear them muttering "why doesn't she just make the damn call? Is my work not important to her?" etc. Well, it turned out that by waiting two weeks, I gathered some information from other staff people that resulted in our developing a unique approach to a problem - viewing hunger as a public health problem. When I called the funding source, she was so excited by this view and the program possibilities, that she arranged a meeting of her other grantees and we were able to make alliances that resulted in significant new dollars - from the funder in question as well as new sources. I debriefed the whole episode with the development staff so they could understand that sometimes there's an unrecognized method to my seeming madness. I just trusted that I'd take the action when it was right, and wouldn't until it felt right.
I think Tice still "shoulds" a little bit on people, especially in his seventh idea. Sometimes too many obstacles are the universe's way of telling me to stop, reassess, think about what paths are open that are free of obstacles and perhaps head that way. Sometimes I do need to find a way around the obstacles or wait for the obstacles to disappear, if I am clear all the way to my core that I am headed in the right direction. I have found it distinctly dangerous to plunge headlong into obstacles without a little time for reflection and recalibrating.
I'm not giving up on my goal, nor do I advocate that anyone give up if they feel so strongly that they are on the right path and headed toward the goal for them. Just...pause for a moment, catch your breath, refocus, look around for another next step. There's always more than one way to get to one's goal.
I believe we can trust our instinct and sense of timing when we're in the search. Part of the search is observing what we do effortlessly and with enthusiasm, and what we find ourselves unwilling or reluctant to do. Those are key signposts pointing us to the path that is right for us.
I remember my therapist years ago telling me to pay attention to my instincts even in the smallest of things, as training to learn to trust myself to make the right choices for myself. So I'd hear a little inner voice saying "don't go down that block" and I wouldn't. I shudder to think of what might have happened if I'd gone down that block - maybe nothing, but I have been mugged and splashed by cars and rudely bumped into and other things. Sometimes I'd hear the voice "buy the milk" and would think "oh, I have plenty of milk at home" and not buy it, only to get home and not have any milk. I'd forgotten that I'd made something the night before and used up all the milk.
The thing about signposts is that they do point me in a direction - and it's helpful to know generally where I want to go. That's where intent comes in. The signs along the way help me formulate my intent - it's like if I want to relax but don't know where I can best relax. I'm on the road and I see a sign for the beach and that attracts me. So I head in that direction. Maybe the roads will all be clear to get me to the beach because that's the best place for me to relax. Maybe there will be terrible traffic jams on the way to the beach. So I look around for a road that's clear, and eventually end up in a forest, or by a lake, or back at my own home. The point is that eventually the signs along the road will help me zero in on where I want to be and will help me get there. I may not know when I start out but eventually I'll get there and recognize it when I do.
I may be at the point where I know where I want to go - it feels right, solid, joyful. I just don't know the best way to get there. Again, there will be signposts - my gut will tell me things (feels good : ) go there! or feels bad :( stay away), stuff keeps getting in the way or nothing falls into place or it's taking fooooreeeeveeeer, everything flows easily and falls into place quickly. My job is to pay attention and then take the next right action.
While driving in England, I was struck by the many different roads and byways that led to the same places. I'd be looking for Ashdown on the map, and I had at least two equally long or short ways to get there from Pangbourne. Once I got to Ashdown, I could go several miles in the wrong direction and see a sign leading to Pangbourne. I came to count on the interrelatedness of all the roads. My mother and I drove up to Coventry one day and on the way back, got off the A1 because the traffic was backing up outside of Reading. I knew that we would find our way to Pangbourne even without a map and in the dark on those twisty, turny country roads with single lanes and lay-bys. We did, simply by looking for the signposts. I know we made a couple of "wrong" turns, meaning that we drove a bit longer than strictly needed. But even in the dark, we saw some lovely little town centres and farm land - new views and experiences we would have missed by following the straightest path.
An important signpost for me is when I get angry at people pushing me. For me, anger is a sign that I am out of balance and feeling uncomfortable with my path. So it's time for a little self-reflection. What was it that was making me so angry? Usually there's a phrase or word or tone that especially annoyed me. If I dig a little around that annoyance, I might find that the person has pinpointed my own inner disturbance, something that I don't want to pay attention to because it is too much trouble or too painful or too much work or too much for me to handle - so I fear.
For example, the fact that I'm physically disabled is extremely difficult for me to accept. In the beginning of this journey in June, I got so angry at people who'd suggest that I simply had to do more exercise or therapy or lose weight or something to get my body back in shape. I also got angry at people who suggested that I should move more quickly to apply for disability. And I got angry at people who suggested I should look for part-time work or full-time work or consulting or something. I was just so out of balance that I couldn't talk to anyone about it. Finally I realized that I needed some time to adjust internally, to pay attention to what I physically could and could not do, to try some things that felt right (like a specific kind of chiropractic treatment and lots of sleep) and frankly, to feel a little sorry for myself and especially to grieve the loss of my formerly active life and capable body.
Once I realized I needed that time and allowed myself to take it, I no longer got angry at people's suggestions. I understood that they loved me and were having their own difficulty processing and accepting this shift in my life. Their suggestions came out of love and from their own discomfort, perhaps from their need to feel powerful in the face of something they had no power over.
My anger was not a sign that I should have been doing something different. It was a sign that I was engaged in some internal processing, some adjustment to a new way of being in the world. Once I became conscious and aware of that, I no longer struggled against other people. I recognized that the struggle was my own and my anger was a way of avoiding it, of externalizing it. I guess it felt too big to handle on my own.
Paradoxically, when I realized that I was grieving a past way of living and being, I could share that with my friends and it eased my burden as well as noticeably easing their own discomfort.
Here's my version of Tice's seven great ideas:
First, understand that you create your own future, that you have power to improve your inner self and outer reality as long as you can envision it.
Second, believe that your intention, idea, and goal are important. Believe in your ability to bring them into reality.
Third, recognize and dwell on your strengths, use them constantly, and watch them grow.
Becoming your best self is a choice you make - every day.
Fourth, change happens through action and you can take some positive action every day.
Fifth, facing your fears is not a one-time event, but it gets easier the more you do it.
Sixth, procrastination does not exist. What exists is a passive choice to do nothing. Be aware that you are making the choice and explore why.
And, seventh, refuse to give up. Persist in the face of all opposition, every setback, and be totally, 100% committed to bringing about the end-result you desire. Believe that there is a way to your heart's dream and you will find it. Believe that if you envision it, it's already there waiting for you.
First, becoming your best self is a choice you make - every day.
Second, change happens through action and the understanding that we create our future.
Third, recognize and dwell on your strengths, use them constantly, and watch them grow.
Fourth, facing your fears is not a one-time event, but it gets easier the more you do it.
Fifth, procrastination does not exist. What exists is a passive choice to do nothing.
Sixth, believe in the importance of your ideas, and your ability to bring them into reality.
And, seventh, refuse to give up. Persist in the face of all opposition, every setback, and be totally, 100% committed to bringing about the end-result you desire.
It's similar to what we were saying yesterday at TransitionWorks Monday "Get Going Meeting" about forming our intention, summoning up the motivation to take action, and trusting our instincts. I particularly agree with the third, fourth, fifth and sixth ideas, with one caveat on the fifth. I do believe that there is no such thing as procrastination, and I suppose it is a passive choice to do nothing. What I also think, however, is that it's worth examining the procrastination to discover that I've chosen to do nothing.
It's worth understanding that procrastination may be a sign that I'm not supposed to do the thing I'm not doing. There is always some reason for not doing something and I can discover it if I explore a little, and if I let a little time go by. I've found that there are times when the seeming procrastination was in fact appropriate because I didn't have enough information to take the right action.
For example, I was supposed to call a funding source to inquire about applying for another grant. I kept putting off the call, to the dismay and increasing disgust of my fundraising staff. I could just hear them muttering "why doesn't she just make the damn call? Is my work not important to her?" etc. Well, it turned out that by waiting two weeks, I gathered some information from other staff people that resulted in our developing a unique approach to a problem - viewing hunger as a public health problem. When I called the funding source, she was so excited by this view and the program possibilities, that she arranged a meeting of her other grantees and we were able to make alliances that resulted in significant new dollars - from the funder in question as well as new sources. I debriefed the whole episode with the development staff so they could understand that sometimes there's an unrecognized method to my seeming madness. I just trusted that I'd take the action when it was right, and wouldn't until it felt right.
I think Tice still "shoulds" a little bit on people, especially in his seventh idea. Sometimes too many obstacles are the universe's way of telling me to stop, reassess, think about what paths are open that are free of obstacles and perhaps head that way. Sometimes I do need to find a way around the obstacles or wait for the obstacles to disappear, if I am clear all the way to my core that I am headed in the right direction. I have found it distinctly dangerous to plunge headlong into obstacles without a little time for reflection and recalibrating.
I'm not giving up on my goal, nor do I advocate that anyone give up if they feel so strongly that they are on the right path and headed toward the goal for them. Just...pause for a moment, catch your breath, refocus, look around for another next step. There's always more than one way to get to one's goal.
I believe we can trust our instinct and sense of timing when we're in the search. Part of the search is observing what we do effortlessly and with enthusiasm, and what we find ourselves unwilling or reluctant to do. Those are key signposts pointing us to the path that is right for us.
I remember my therapist years ago telling me to pay attention to my instincts even in the smallest of things, as training to learn to trust myself to make the right choices for myself. So I'd hear a little inner voice saying "don't go down that block" and I wouldn't. I shudder to think of what might have happened if I'd gone down that block - maybe nothing, but I have been mugged and splashed by cars and rudely bumped into and other things. Sometimes I'd hear the voice "buy the milk" and would think "oh, I have plenty of milk at home" and not buy it, only to get home and not have any milk. I'd forgotten that I'd made something the night before and used up all the milk.
The thing about signposts is that they do point me in a direction - and it's helpful to know generally where I want to go. That's where intent comes in. The signs along the way help me formulate my intent - it's like if I want to relax but don't know where I can best relax. I'm on the road and I see a sign for the beach and that attracts me. So I head in that direction. Maybe the roads will all be clear to get me to the beach because that's the best place for me to relax. Maybe there will be terrible traffic jams on the way to the beach. So I look around for a road that's clear, and eventually end up in a forest, or by a lake, or back at my own home. The point is that eventually the signs along the road will help me zero in on where I want to be and will help me get there. I may not know when I start out but eventually I'll get there and recognize it when I do.
I may be at the point where I know where I want to go - it feels right, solid, joyful. I just don't know the best way to get there. Again, there will be signposts - my gut will tell me things (feels good : ) go there! or feels bad :( stay away), stuff keeps getting in the way or nothing falls into place or it's taking fooooreeeeveeeer, everything flows easily and falls into place quickly. My job is to pay attention and then take the next right action.
While driving in England, I was struck by the many different roads and byways that led to the same places. I'd be looking for Ashdown on the map, and I had at least two equally long or short ways to get there from Pangbourne. Once I got to Ashdown, I could go several miles in the wrong direction and see a sign leading to Pangbourne. I came to count on the interrelatedness of all the roads. My mother and I drove up to Coventry one day and on the way back, got off the A1 because the traffic was backing up outside of Reading. I knew that we would find our way to Pangbourne even without a map and in the dark on those twisty, turny country roads with single lanes and lay-bys. We did, simply by looking for the signposts. I know we made a couple of "wrong" turns, meaning that we drove a bit longer than strictly needed. But even in the dark, we saw some lovely little town centres and farm land - new views and experiences we would have missed by following the straightest path.
An important signpost for me is when I get angry at people pushing me. For me, anger is a sign that I am out of balance and feeling uncomfortable with my path. So it's time for a little self-reflection. What was it that was making me so angry? Usually there's a phrase or word or tone that especially annoyed me. If I dig a little around that annoyance, I might find that the person has pinpointed my own inner disturbance, something that I don't want to pay attention to because it is too much trouble or too painful or too much work or too much for me to handle - so I fear.
For example, the fact that I'm physically disabled is extremely difficult for me to accept. In the beginning of this journey in June, I got so angry at people who'd suggest that I simply had to do more exercise or therapy or lose weight or something to get my body back in shape. I also got angry at people who suggested that I should move more quickly to apply for disability. And I got angry at people who suggested I should look for part-time work or full-time work or consulting or something. I was just so out of balance that I couldn't talk to anyone about it. Finally I realized that I needed some time to adjust internally, to pay attention to what I physically could and could not do, to try some things that felt right (like a specific kind of chiropractic treatment and lots of sleep) and frankly, to feel a little sorry for myself and especially to grieve the loss of my formerly active life and capable body.
Once I realized I needed that time and allowed myself to take it, I no longer got angry at people's suggestions. I understood that they loved me and were having their own difficulty processing and accepting this shift in my life. Their suggestions came out of love and from their own discomfort, perhaps from their need to feel powerful in the face of something they had no power over.
My anger was not a sign that I should have been doing something different. It was a sign that I was engaged in some internal processing, some adjustment to a new way of being in the world. Once I became conscious and aware of that, I no longer struggled against other people. I recognized that the struggle was my own and my anger was a way of avoiding it, of externalizing it. I guess it felt too big to handle on my own.
Paradoxically, when I realized that I was grieving a past way of living and being, I could share that with my friends and it eased my burden as well as noticeably easing their own discomfort.
Here's my version of Tice's seven great ideas:
First, understand that you create your own future, that you have power to improve your inner self and outer reality as long as you can envision it.
Second, believe that your intention, idea, and goal are important. Believe in your ability to bring them into reality.
Third, recognize and dwell on your strengths, use them constantly, and watch them grow.
Becoming your best self is a choice you make - every day.
Fourth, change happens through action and you can take some positive action every day.
Fifth, facing your fears is not a one-time event, but it gets easier the more you do it.
Sixth, procrastination does not exist. What exists is a passive choice to do nothing. Be aware that you are making the choice and explore why.
And, seventh, refuse to give up. Persist in the face of all opposition, every setback, and be totally, 100% committed to bringing about the end-result you desire. Believe that there is a way to your heart's dream and you will find it. Believe that if you envision it, it's already there waiting for you.
posted by julieannerickson at 6:10 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home