about laughter
Recent conversations with friends and colleagues who are a little depressed remind me about how laughing really helped me emerge from a deep depression when I was in my mid-20's.
I'd had an awful breakup - "jilted" was the term a health care professional used to refer to how my hopes and dreams were completely dashed. Another professional told me "you don't handle disappointment very well." Understatement of the century.
I was alternately hysterical and almost catatonic with grief, and then it morphed into deepest gloom. I couldn't sleep and when I finally did sleep, I didn't want to wake up. After dragging myself to work, I'd close my office door and cry. I cried all day, at night, and then the next day.
People told me it would pass, and one day I'd realize I hadn't cried at all that day. And so the healing would happen over time. Being 27, I was far too young to understand that I would actually eventually really heal. I was convinced I would feel this way forever. And every moment felt like an eternity, excruciating eternity.
One day, someone told me I should start laughing. She recommended that I find all the funny shows I could, get tapes of them (this was VHS/VCR time), and play them over and over while I laughed. She told me that I needed to replace my grief with another strong emotion - humor - and get the experience of fun into my life.
Being sick of myself, I decided to take her advice - despite being absolutely certain that it would not work. I got tapes of I Love Lucy and I started watching Joan Rivers' late night talk show.
Joan Rivers helped me heal probably more than anything else. I laughed so hard at her jokes and at her conversation with her guests. She was goofy and smart, witty and smart-alecky. I found myself laughing in a way I'd never laughed before in my life - out loud! I was a child and teenager who hid my laughs, never wanting to be noticed too much with a loud laugh. Well, I found out that I really do have a loud laugh. And it felt great to use it.
Joan Rivers, Lucy Ricardo and my friend Dale Rutkin were the women who saw me through the worst of my depression. Dale would stay on the phone with me for hours late at night, talking to me about how I would get better, feel better, never have to feel this again, and all I had to do was get through this day. Then I'd turn on Joan Rivers and laugh. Finally, I'd be able to relax and sleep.
I did heal. And I've never had to feel that way again.
Laughing was the most healing thing I did. And not only did I heal by laughing, I also got a perspective on life that sticks with me until today. I can choose to stay unhappy and depressed or I can look for ways to get out of those feelings. I don't have to be trapped forever by a bad feeling or situation. By choosing to laugh, I got a sense that I did have some control over my life and feelings. And that helped me take the steps necessary for me to address some of the underlying reasons for my deep depression.
The power of laughter to heal has been documented by several researchers (see below), as well as by Norman Cousins in his book Anatomy of an Illness. And now I add my own story to the list of testaments to laughing one's way to health.
Psychology Today
University of Maryland
MDA
Science Daily
Medical News
I'd had an awful breakup - "jilted" was the term a health care professional used to refer to how my hopes and dreams were completely dashed. Another professional told me "you don't handle disappointment very well." Understatement of the century.
I was alternately hysterical and almost catatonic with grief, and then it morphed into deepest gloom. I couldn't sleep and when I finally did sleep, I didn't want to wake up. After dragging myself to work, I'd close my office door and cry. I cried all day, at night, and then the next day.
People told me it would pass, and one day I'd realize I hadn't cried at all that day. And so the healing would happen over time. Being 27, I was far too young to understand that I would actually eventually really heal. I was convinced I would feel this way forever. And every moment felt like an eternity, excruciating eternity.
One day, someone told me I should start laughing. She recommended that I find all the funny shows I could, get tapes of them (this was VHS/VCR time), and play them over and over while I laughed. She told me that I needed to replace my grief with another strong emotion - humor - and get the experience of fun into my life.
Being sick of myself, I decided to take her advice - despite being absolutely certain that it would not work. I got tapes of I Love Lucy and I started watching Joan Rivers' late night talk show.
Joan Rivers helped me heal probably more than anything else. I laughed so hard at her jokes and at her conversation with her guests. She was goofy and smart, witty and smart-alecky. I found myself laughing in a way I'd never laughed before in my life - out loud! I was a child and teenager who hid my laughs, never wanting to be noticed too much with a loud laugh. Well, I found out that I really do have a loud laugh. And it felt great to use it.
Joan Rivers, Lucy Ricardo and my friend Dale Rutkin were the women who saw me through the worst of my depression. Dale would stay on the phone with me for hours late at night, talking to me about how I would get better, feel better, never have to feel this again, and all I had to do was get through this day. Then I'd turn on Joan Rivers and laugh. Finally, I'd be able to relax and sleep.
I did heal. And I've never had to feel that way again.
Laughing was the most healing thing I did. And not only did I heal by laughing, I also got a perspective on life that sticks with me until today. I can choose to stay unhappy and depressed or I can look for ways to get out of those feelings. I don't have to be trapped forever by a bad feeling or situation. By choosing to laugh, I got a sense that I did have some control over my life and feelings. And that helped me take the steps necessary for me to address some of the underlying reasons for my deep depression.
The power of laughter to heal has been documented by several researchers (see below), as well as by Norman Cousins in his book Anatomy of an Illness. And now I add my own story to the list of testaments to laughing one's way to health.
Psychology Today
University of Maryland
MDA
Science Daily
Medical News
posted by julieannerickson at 2:47 PM
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