Step Two
Step Two: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
I came, then I came to, then I came to believe. That was my process.
When I joined Al-Anon, I'd been in another 12 Step program for a year and thought it should be easy for me to work the Steps in Al-Anon. I was way too optimistic. It was challenging for me to understand that I was powerless over people, over people with alcohol in them, and over alcohol in people. That was the nature of my insanity - that somehow I could control or influence an alcoholic's choices, attitudes and behavior - especially regarding me.
So first I came to Al-Anon. I sat at meetings, listened and gradually started learning about my co-dependent disease of alcoholism. It was very different from active alcoholism, for it involved hyper-responsiblity instead of the alcoholic's irresponsibility. It involved hyper-vigilance instead of the alcoholic's search for
oblivion. And it involved a firm, even stranglehold grasp on reality instead of the alcoholic's journey into fantasy. Weren't these things good? What could be bad about being responsible, vigilant and realistic?
I came to see that those traits are not inherently bad - in moderation. I was not exercising moderation, however. This was evident in the amount of anger, frustration and disappointment I suffered "because of" other people's behavior, attitudes and choices. My well-being was affected by other people to a very unhealthy extent. And I was responsible for that. I minded other people's business instead of minding my own. I came to see that as insanity.
Eventually, I came to believe that I could be restored to some kind of sanity. I came to believe that there is a power greater than me on whom I can call for strength and wisdom. I saw other people detach themselves from other people who repeatedly hurt and disappointed them, stand back and let their alcoholic partners or children experience the consequences of their drinking, and work on their own
character and choices FIRST. I came to believe that if I kept the focus on myself and used the Al-Anon tools, I too would gain serenity and happiness.
And that is what happened to me. Today, I understand and accept that I am powerless over others, and that the key to my happiness is minding my own business.
I came, then I came to, then I came to believe. That was my process.
When I joined Al-Anon, I'd been in another 12 Step program for a year and thought it should be easy for me to work the Steps in Al-Anon. I was way too optimistic. It was challenging for me to understand that I was powerless over people, over people with alcohol in them, and over alcohol in people. That was the nature of my insanity - that somehow I could control or influence an alcoholic's choices, attitudes and behavior - especially regarding me.
So first I came to Al-Anon. I sat at meetings, listened and gradually started learning about my co-dependent disease of alcoholism. It was very different from active alcoholism, for it involved hyper-responsiblity instead of the alcoholic's irresponsibility. It involved hyper-vigilance instead of the alcoholic's search for
oblivion. And it involved a firm, even stranglehold grasp on reality instead of the alcoholic's journey into fantasy. Weren't these things good? What could be bad about being responsible, vigilant and realistic?
I came to see that those traits are not inherently bad - in moderation. I was not exercising moderation, however. This was evident in the amount of anger, frustration and disappointment I suffered "because of" other people's behavior, attitudes and choices. My well-being was affected by other people to a very unhealthy extent. And I was responsible for that. I minded other people's business instead of minding my own. I came to see that as insanity.
Eventually, I came to believe that I could be restored to some kind of sanity. I came to believe that there is a power greater than me on whom I can call for strength and wisdom. I saw other people detach themselves from other people who repeatedly hurt and disappointed them, stand back and let their alcoholic partners or children experience the consequences of their drinking, and work on their own
character and choices FIRST. I came to believe that if I kept the focus on myself and used the Al-Anon tools, I too would gain serenity and happiness.
And that is what happened to me. Today, I understand and accept that I am powerless over others, and that the key to my happiness is minding my own business.
posted by julieannerickson at 3:00 PM
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