about sharing
I think I am compelled to share with others because I know viscerally how awful it feels when someone withholds what they have. My mom withheld so much - knowledge, insight, love. She held it close in case she might lose it, focusing so tightly that she missed seeing her impact on me. Putting on makeup. Folding clothes. Weeding. Drawing and painting. Choosing plants and deciding where to put them. Digging in the dirt. Baking bread.
I am self-taught, mainly. I watched when I could. Watching without questions, learning to avoid speaking and asking for guidance. Her responses were exasperated and impatient, in attitude dismissive and even contemptuous. Her words were rarely kind, usually sharp and critical. Looking for flaws and error, she found them in abundance. But why were they errors? What didn't I know yet? How could I know if no one explained things to me? Why was I to blame for not knowing what I didn't know? The inexplicable is still incomprehensible.
So let me share, let me explain, let me seek progress, let me applaud learning, let me celebrate the risk involved in exposing one's lack of knowledge in hopes of gaining it, let me emanate an attitude of safety, comfort, support, positive reinforcement. Let me share what I now have learned, and perhaps heal my still-seeping wounds and bind up the gaps in my heart.
I am self-taught, mainly. I watched when I could. Watching without questions, learning to avoid speaking and asking for guidance. Her responses were exasperated and impatient, in attitude dismissive and even contemptuous. Her words were rarely kind, usually sharp and critical. Looking for flaws and error, she found them in abundance. But why were they errors? What didn't I know yet? How could I know if no one explained things to me? Why was I to blame for not knowing what I didn't know? The inexplicable is still incomprehensible.
So let me share, let me explain, let me seek progress, let me applaud learning, let me celebrate the risk involved in exposing one's lack of knowledge in hopes of gaining it, let me emanate an attitude of safety, comfort, support, positive reinforcement. Let me share what I now have learned, and perhaps heal my still-seeping wounds and bind up the gaps in my heart.
posted by julieannerickson at 12:22 PM
1 Comments:
Julia -
I purposely waited to read your blog in the hope that you would have updatedit since I last visited. And to my great delight you did with yet more insightful notes.
I also visited your juliannerickson page and really enjoyed the organizational mgmt piece. I like the term,"Director of Organizational Development" - it is a much better term than HR which I agree connotes benefits and policies. That period you describe sounds like Camelot. My regret is that I wished that I was there at the very beginning when it was new and daring.
And for those that are reading my post, let me say this from my experience as a former employee of City Harvest and a direct report, Julia created a culture that made you believe that the impossible was within your grasp. And that not trying was the only failure. She was a true champion for people and she knew how to motivate towards your potential.
I've learned so much from her example and have modeled her leadership style and work ethos to lead a very successful food rescue organization in South Jersey.
Julia, the nonprofit world needs you and I hope that through your venture as an executive coach, we get a little piece of you until we have all of you back. I will be in touch.
Much love my friend,
Val
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