about Turning 50

I'm not feeling particularly grateful about turning 50 this summer. In fact, I've been downright depressed. It feels like I'm headed downhill from here, especially given my physical disability.

Then I read a group post about "Gratitude" and realize I am engaged in the "poor me's." That attitude is guaranteed to bring me down even further.

So what can I be grateful about?

1) I've been alive 50 whole years!
2) I have 50 years of experience, strength and hope to share with others - and even hopefully some wisdom.
3) Happiness is definitely my choice today - and I know how to choose to be happy after so many years of despair, anger and fear.

There is so much more for which I am grateful, including family and friends, home and work, my cats and garden, books and computers, and just about everything else that is possible.

I'm grateful to my on-line group for helping me remember that happiness is a choice, and that being grateful is the quickest road to happiness.

about Albert Memmi and The Colonizer & the Colonized

Talking to a friend today reminded me of The Colonizer and the Colonized . I read it in college and it has stayed with me for more than 30 years. The key thought I took away is that the oppressed often in turn become oppressors once they gain power.

Here's a quote detailing that conclusion from Answers.com:

Citing colonization as a variant of fascism, Memmi especially reacts to the decolonization of North Africa in 1956, but states that the dynamics are similar in any colonial system. In his view, although minority populations are exploited under colonial governments, once they gain their freedom and gain political and economic power they in turn become the exploiters.

My friend is dealing with a former employer, trying to get a severance payment after being summarily dismissed without notice or cause. The employer is a small company owned by a Jewish family. My friend is an African-American woman. Her claim is that she would not have been treated this way had she been a white man. In my view, her case is pretty clearly just, since another former employee of this firm - a white man - received ample time and payment when he was turned down for partner. However, the company owners refuse to pay her anything. And she will not give up because she believes that part of their thinking is "how dare this little black girl demand anything from us?" This clash has dragged on for almost seven months.

I was reminded of Memmi because of the cast of characters: male Jewish owners who have economic power and an African-American woman who does not. Both parties come from groups that historically have been horribly oppressed and subject to genocidal treatment by powerful white people, Christians and Muslims. It appears to me that there is a classic Memmi-like relationship here, with representatives of a (relatively) newly powerful oppressed group exerting its power over another oppressed group. Perhaps it is the typical male/female gender oppression is mostly at play here, yet I believe there definitely is an ethno/racial dynamic at play.

And the WASP male is not touched by any of it.

about Trust and Betrayal

I was badly betrayed in a work situation and so was intensely interested in Mauricio Delgado's fascinating article on the Scientific American website on the topic "when someone betrays us, how does the brain deal with it?"

The development of trust is an essential social tool, allowing people to form productive and meaningful relationships, both at a professional and personal level. Bonds of trust are also extremely fragile, however and a single act of betrayal—such as a marital affair—can instantly erase years of trustworthy behavior. The consequences of such breaches in confidence can be disastrous, and not only for a relationship. People who have been betrayed in the past will sometimes start avoiding future social interactions, which is a potential precursor to social phobia.

In light of these connections, recent research has attempted to elucidate the neural mechanisms underlying trust behavior. This is the goal of an exciting new study by neuroscientist Thomas Baumgartner and colleagues at the University of Zurich in Germany that combines different disciplines (economics and neuroscience) and methodologies (neuroimaging and neuropharmacology) to investigate how the brain adapts to breaches of trust.

Apparently, oxytocin (a hormone recognized for its role in social attachment and facilitation of social interactions) facilitates trust behavior.

The study demonstrates how oxytocin can facilitate social interactions after trust has been violated, by potentially lowering defense mechanisms associated with social risks and by overcoming negative feedback that is important for adapting behavior in the future...Lower levels of oxytocin in some situations may certainly be adaptive, as a person will become more wary of possible harm. Higher levels of oxytocin, however, may also be necessary at times to allow an individual to “forgive and forget,” an imperative step in maintaining long-term relationships and mental well-being.

What is the end result of this? An "anti-betrayal" drug? I wonder if it's better to feel and process the betrayal - instead of looking for a "magic bullet" substance like oxytocin. I wonder if we manufacture oxytocin as we work on forgiving those who betrayed us. It would be interesting to know what happens to our oxytocin levels over time as we move beyond the betrayal.

about GREEN TV

A recent article on the Scientific American website says that some flat screen TVs draw more power than a large refrigerator.

According to The Wall Street Journal’s Rebecca Smith, a 42-inch plasma TV set can draw more power than a large refrigerator, even if the TV is only used a few hours a day. Smith recommends green consumers consider the Liquid Crystal Display (LCD) models, which typically uses less energy than comparable plasma sets.

According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), a 28-inch conventional cathode-ray tube (CRT) set uses about 100 watts of electricity. A 42-inch LCD set might consume twice that amount, while plasma could use five times as much, depending on the model and the programming. For the largest screen sizes (60 inches and up), projection TVs are the most energy efficient, clocking in at 150-200 watts—significantly less than the energy a plasma set would use.

Of course, the greenest option of all (aside from getting out from in front of that tube and spending more time outdoors) is to keep or repair your existing CRT unit (a digital-to-analog converter will be needed after February 2009 when new signal specifications go into effect). Most CRT sets use less energy than any of the LCD or plasma models, and if it ain’t broke, why fix it? Buying a new TV, even a greener one, only generates more pollution in production and transport, and creates waste in junking the old model.

Luckily for us consumers, beginning in November 2008, TVs will start displaying "Energy Star" labels. So if we're determined to buy an LCD to save floor space, we can identify the greener choices.